This blog is dedicated to my favourite celebrity, the God of rap, EMINEM.
*cue music*
WILL THE REAL SLIM SHADY PLEASE STAND UP?
‘No matter how many fish in the sea, it’ll be so empty without me’ – Thus wrote a man who once spent a week in a coma after being beaten up by a bully at 9. Marshall Bruce Mathers III (quite a mouthful, that) was born on October 17th, 1971 in Missouri to a family of limited means (read extremely poor). Raised by his mother Deborah Mathers after his father ran out on the family, Marshall failed 9th grade thrice and ultimately decided to drop out at 17. Stories like this either end up in greatness or with a heroin overdose (or sometimes both), and no prizes for guessing which way this one goes.
While Marshall was a generally shitty student, his deep affinity for language made him try his hand at rap, after a few failed attampts at comic-writing.
He slowly moved his way through a predominantly black underground rap battle scene in Detroit where he assumed the stage name ‘Eminem’. He became well-known on the circuit, and quickly released his first album. He was on his way to…an album that nobody really heard.
Discovered by rapper and producer Dr. Dre (now famous as the dude who makes your overpriced headphones), Eminem quickly made his way to…an album that nobody really heard.
Rock Bottom
Eminem’s first album ‘Infinite’ was released in 1996, and it bombed. He went to the 1997 Rap Olympics in Los Angeles (yeah they really exist), and placed second. But more importantly, his work reached rapper and producer Dr. Dre, (now famous as the dude who makes your overpriced headphones), and Eminem was on his way to stardom. His second album ‘The Slim Shady LP’ released in 1990 and made loads of money, won him a Grammy, and placed 273 on Rolling Stones’ 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.
Why Slim Shady? For those living under giant rocks, Slim Shady is Eminem’s alter-ego, sort of a violent, nasty Superman to his less violent, less nasty Clark Kent.
Superman
‘The Slim Shady LP’ officially put Eminem on the map, because white rappers just weren’t a thing. His distinctive style and surging popularity helped his album ‘Marshall Mathers LP’ released in 2000, become the fastest-selling solo album in US history.
But if you’re a controversial rapper, you’re bound to piss someone off, which Eminem duly did with his song ‘Just Lose It’, which released in 2004 and mocked Michael Jackson for, among other things, having his hair set on fire in a Pepsi commercial. In 2005 he was ranked #58 in a book called ‘100 People Who Are Screwing Up America’. Oh and he went to rehab for a dependency on sleep medication, and released an album of old songs called Curtain Call:The Hits, that went double-platinum. All this while people thought he was done with his rap career.
In 2008, Eminem released an album named Relapse, which didn’t do as well as the others, but still sold more albums than your shitty garage band ever will. And in 2010, he released an album named…Recovery, which is still the best-selling digital album in history.
The Way I Am
Wow, these section headings are really easy to write. Thanks Eminem! Anyway, as we said, if you’re Eminem, you’ve generally pissed quite a few people off. This includes his wife/ex-wife/wife/ex-wife again Kim Scott, made famous by a bunch of songs where he wants to kill her. We’re not kidding. One of the songs is named ‘Kill You’. One of his songs ‘We As Americans’ made the Secret Service seriously look into whether Eminem was trying to assassinate the President (it was a slow week at the Secret Service office). There were also lawsuits at various points by Eminem’s mother, as well as his aunt and uncle. Might we recommend family counseling?
He also pissed off women with his misogynistic lyrics, homosexuals with his homophobic lyrics, and Canadians because…I don’t even care anymore. After all the trips to rehab and a few overdoses, Eminem is presently sober and apparently making music to help distressed people.
All we’re saying is, if Iggy Azalea doesn’t like you, and Elton John is comparing you to Bob Dylan (who apparently has a few Eminem CDs himself), you’re doing fine. And if your music is inspiring artists like 50 Cent, Usher and Jay-Z, you’re already music royalty. After all, who are we to disagree with His Jay-Z-ness?
Mediocre musings... 